


The Titanic Virus

by itsaroosterteeththing



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Fluff, I'm hoping for fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pandemic - Freeform, also going for some, chracter development, mainly fluff, people die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-04 13:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1781296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsaroosterteeththing/pseuds/itsaroosterteeththing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A virus passed on by contact descends upon the world and wipes out most of the population in months. It starts of slowly; a cough or a sneeze, and before you know it...you're body is rotting from the outside in.<br/>However it appears Eren Jaegar is immune to the virus and so he goes on a journey with none other than a grumpy short man named Levi to discover the secrets of the weird dreams he's been having.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Events Leading to Now

**Author's Note:**

> DAMN DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO BE BACK POSTING. WOW, I'M SO LAME.  
> Anyway, I hope you really really enjoy this as much as I have been writing it and hopefully I will be able to withhold chapters on a weekly basis, but there are absolutely no promises leaving my lips.
> 
> I'm wishing to release chapter two as soon as possible because I really want to catch readers quickly, so as soon as I feel I have substantial chapters to keep me safe in case of something happening I will upload chapter 2.
> 
> I love you so much, please enjoy this little piece <3

It had begun in one of the southern States; Eren couldn’t remember when now, just that it had happened. He remembered clearly hearing the _Breaking News_ announced over the new radio during dinner. A large group of people had fallen ill all of a sudden, with no apparent root cause to the problem. Within two days their bodies shut down, their skin having become tight, pale and cracked. Their finger nails became yellow and began to split, pulling away from the skin. Their eyes became bloodshot and dilated to the point where next to no iris could be seen. According to the news, the virus essentially rotted a person from the outside i, and was passed on by contact. Once the people had died, their surrounding neighbourhood befell a similar fate. In no time at all the world was beginning to fall victim to a pandemic they called the ‘Titanic Virus’, Eren couldn’t remember why it had been named that now.

He had been sitting at the dinner table with his mother, father and his adoptive sister Mikasa. The news struck them all deeply, and fear rattled the home for days. Eren would hear his parents argue in hushed tones from down the hallway at night, and knew that it was because those who had died had only lived a few states over. Grisha, Eren’s father, had seemed much more eager to leave their home than Carla, Eren’s mother. Mikasa had always elected to go wherever Eren went, and so when Grisha decided to gather his belongings and leave the family home with Carla refusing to leave, it was no surprise that Eren and Mikasa stayed behind as well.

They had stayed in their home for weeks following Eren’s father’s absence, and if Eren had been honest with himself he hardly noticed Grisha’s absence. As a doctor, the man’s profession often lead him out of town for weeks on end.

It had not been long, however, until their own state was succumbing to the overwhelming virus. Their neighbourhood crumbled, and the towering list of deaths only strengthened Carla’s refusal to leave. In the end, she fell ill and in two days, precisely the same as all of its victims, the Titanic virus claimed Carla’s life. The moment Eren’s mother started showing symptoms, Carla had pleaded with them to leave; Eren refused and Mikasa stayed to help Eren. The last thing Eren ever heard from his mother was a plea for her life, for someone to save her. It had been that moment that Eren decided he would destroy the virus and save anyone from ever having to die again. The town’s drunkard, Hannes, had witnessed the children sticking close to their infected mother and had forced the pair from their home.

This by no means meant that they were safe. Mikasa was an expert at avoiding contact with the condemned, and did everything in her power to look after Eren. They had met up with their friend Armin, when they finally settled down and together they were inseparable. They relied on each other to survive; Mikasa because she was quick and precise and the most skilled of the three, Armin because he was smart and intuitive and knew what was good and bad to eat, Eren because his determination in the face of seemingly impossible odds never let their morale drop. They needed each other.

In the months that followed the trio’s travels states had started building walls bordering off cities in an attempt to at least _slow_ the rate the virus was spreading at. Each state had its own gate manned by men waiting to test you for the contagion, and only once they determined that you were clear would they allow you to pass. It had not only been the United States however, other continents and countries had built walls in order to keep the contaminated away from their countries. Eren felt trapped, like cattle in a holding pen waiting to be inevitably slaughtered. If he was going to die, he would prefer to die having _seen_ the world. Or even the ocean, which he had never visited but dreamed of constantly.

There was news of civil wars breaking out in pockets around the world, North and South Korea threatened war amongst themselves, The United Kingdom were split on almost every important decision to be made, and this seemed to ring true for all nations across the globe. No one was able to come up with a plan they entirely agree upon, and the fact that these countries could not appease their own governments, never mind its people, meant that tensions were boiling over between nations. Exportations and importations had all but stopped. The laws had been so strict that there might as well have been no goods from overseas at all. The virus did not spread that way, but it struck fear in the hearts of the people and fear was the most dangerous weopon.

The very first indication of an abnormality in the trio had been when Eren, bull-headed as always, had come into contact with an infected while trying to protect Armin. The following few days had been filled with grief and uncertainty, when they were over and Eren remained it spread like wildfire that a child had survived. He had survived contact with one of the condemned and that was unheard of, unforeseeable and predicted to be impossible.

It had been then that Eren was brought into what his captors had called the ‘ _Survey Corps’._ A government agency built on the grounds of protection of the human population from outbreaks such as these, and when they heard the story of an impossible boy. Well, they had to see the kid for themselves.

Eren had spent months under lock and key, being prodded and poked and experimented on by a crazy – yet surprisingly friendly - lady named Hanji Zoe. During this time Eren was submitted to a number of tests that showed no sign of significant differences from anyone else’s, and this only made people fear him further. Eren wanted anything but to find that people feared him. He was determined, however, determined to bring this virus to its knees and bringing it to its end. The room they had put Eren in wasn’t so bad, it had a bed and a lamp and he was comfortable enough, it wasn’t as if he had many personal belongings that he needed to bring with himself, anyway. They fed him and he was clothed and so Eren couldn’t complain really, he at least knew he was relatively safe here.

Eren even got to meet some incredibly interesting and kind people that he had been lucky enough to call his friends. Connie and Sasha were energetic and fun to be around, constantly taking jabs at one another and falling back into giggles. Marco was sweet and kind-hearted, he had a great judge in character and Eren guessed that his silence was used in order to learn things about people that others would generally neglect. That’s the only reason, anyway, that Eren could identify as the reason he liked to be around Jean Kirschtein. The horse-faced boy clashed regularly with Eren, being that they were both incredibly strong-headed and big-mouthed. If it hadn’t been for their bluntness it would have been impossible, however, for them to have come to the respect and comradery that they ended up having. Reiner and Berthold were joined at the hip, and Eren began to see the pair as older brothers, Reiner was shorter than Berthold but had strong wide shoulders and Eren couldn’t help but compare him to a soldier. Berthold was taller and leaner, constantly sweating and seemed permanently nervous – a shame because Eren believed he had a kindness on par with Marco. Then there was Ymir and Christa, complete polar opposites. Ymir was strong and blunt and incredibly protective of Christa, who looked like a female Armin and acted just as innocent as the blonde.  There had been others he came into contact with, but these he had become close friends with – even Horse-face.

But eventually, that had to end. After months of staying with these people, Eren had been summoned to a hearing on what would happen to him. Some argued that he needed to be harvested; his blood would save the Earth they would argue. Some argued that they needed more conclusive evidence of this, and that he needed to be protected at all costs. Eren had mentioned his father’s secret basement that Eren had not been allowed to see to Hanji, however, and showed her the key he always wore around his neck on a chain. Before Grisha left, he had given Eren the key and told him not to enter the basement till he was old enough to understand the risks that opening it would cause. With this, a man who looked more like Captain America than someone working in this organisation argued that if they were able to reach Eren’s old family home and were able to retrieve any secrets from the basement, then he could be Humanity’s last Hope. Erwin, the man who looked like an oversized dorito chip – or Captain America, not sure there are any differences – had won his case and Eren was passed into his custody.

Well, not Erwin’s custody specifically. Eren was mostly under the protection of a man named Levi, a man more akin to an annoyed cat than an actual human. Or so at least he first appeared. He seemed perpetually tired, or at least like he, maybe, needed to wear glasses if the crease between his eyebrows was anything to go by. Eren couldn’t help but draw up comparisons between the comic book character and the cat. Erwin was tall and well built, a natural leader if the power radiating from him had anything to do with it. Erwin had warm eyes and blonde hair, his features open and welcoming. In contrast – or so Eren had heard, he hadn’t been able to meet the man, the myth, the legend yet - Levi was short, shorter than Eren by a good couple of inches and he was rude and abrupt with his words and formalities. His eyes were cold and distant, and the same feelings were radiating off of him in waves.

But was trustworthy to the government, apparently, one of their most skilled assassins, if anything was to go wrong it would be Levi to save the day. He was Humanities Strongest, according to Hanji.

Those were the events that had led to this moment, the moment that Eren found himself sat aboard a train back to his hometown in southern USA alongside a grim man who was shorter than any man Eren had ever seen. The man had dark hair and dark eyes and an even darker sense of humour. He was brash and unforgiving with his words and Eren wasn’t sure _crass_ was enough of a description for this man. He was small, but Eren guessed he was incredibly well built. This had been the man Hanji had described and Eren noted that she did him no justice, and was sure that no one else could come close to describing the male perfectly. Levi appeared stand-offish and, yet, as much as it shocked Eren, Levi actually enjoyed talking. Although the man liked to talk he didn’t do it often, it would seem he preferred silence. that part of him made Eren think of Marco. The thought had made Eren chuckle, comparing the world’s nicest human being to...well...Levi was something akin to _irony._


	2. All Aboard...For a While

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi are travelling to Eren's home-town by train, but when the train stops and the reasoning behind the sudden stopping of the train is explained the pair have to find their own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's chapter two, my lovelies. I probably shouldn't be updating it this soon, but I'm just so excited to get this started!

For the most part, Levi was an incredibly interesting man – not to mention how curious his cleaning habits were - and yet he had a way of always calling Eren a ‘kid’ or a ‘brat’ more than anything else, no matter how many times Eren had to tell him he was already twenty four and no longer a child. Levi had only rolled his eyes and replied with ‘ _You are a child until you prove to me you are otherwise.’_ Eren had wanted to bite, but held his tongue. Eren had an awful predilection for jumping into arguments head first, and Mikasa seemed to constantly have to save him from getting his ass kicked. Mikasa wasn’t here, however, and if what Eren had heard about Levi was correct then Levi was not a man to piss off.

In the silence, Eren was watching the barren scenery outside of the windows as the train glided on. The noisiness of the track and the steam puffing into the air in heavy white clouds behind them was comforting, the rhythmic sound could have lulled Eren to sleep had he not been so fascinated by the emptiness of the landscape stretching out for as far as Eren could see. This steam train was particularly short, made up of three separate carriages. The only other passengers were left in the other carriages, however and this made for an exceptionally lonely train journey for Eren and the more he thought about spending days on a train to his home town with this grumpy man had Eren whining internally.

“How did you get here?” Levi’s voice was surprisingly low for such a short man, but Eren quite liked it; it reminded him of a smokers. Thick and gruff and throaty in all the right ways, Eren knew that Levi did not smoke purely because he was so conscious of dirt and grime that he could not possibly want something so dirty near his lips. However, the smoker’s tone matched that of Levi’s and it was oddly easy on the ears.

“Huh?” Eren lifted his head from where it rested upon the window pane, it took a moment for Eren to adjust to a completely stationary sight and when he did he could see a curious and inquisitive look on Levi’s usually stoic and uninterested face. Levi’s frown deepened at Eren’s unintelligent sound of confusion.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, brat. I didn’t get told squat about you other than that you’re to be protected at all costs.” His tone was matter-of-fact and although not particularly concise, it did feel short and as though talking to Eren was exhausting. Eren had not decided whether he liked this man or not yet, he looked as if he was a man to be reckoned with. Eren had done his best to be as polite as possible, as if a soldier answering his captain.

“I’m immune.” Eren says, his voice careful and his eyes even more so as he searched Levi’s face for any sign of emotion at all. Levi quirked an eyebrow but otherwise looked uninterested and bored. He turns his gaze to the outside, the landscape reflected in his eyes.

“That wasn’t what I asked, kid. We’re going to have to pass the time anyway, tell me how you got to be sitting across from me on a journey from Alaska to Arizona.” His gaze never left the landscape outside and even though they had been travelling for hours now Eren knew they had not yet left Alaska. Eren searches Levi’s face once more and frowns, turning his own gaze back to the view outside as he started his story. Eren retold Levi of his father leaving, of his mother succumbing to the virus. When Eren started telling his story, he couldn’t help but get lost in it, he soon had forgotten that Levi was even listening. He rambled on without even really thinking about it and yet he was able to convey emotion and strength and determination in his voice.

“And now I’m here with you.” Eren finished, his eyes weary from the constantly moving landscape, and he tore his eyes from it and decided instead to watch the man in front of him who had at some point stopped looking out the window and watch Eren as well. Eren attempted a friendly smile to the stoic man, whom answered only with a nod and a tight frown.

“So you had the _pleasure_ of meeting Hanji?” for a moment Eren decided that Levi’s eyes reminded him of faded denim left in the sun for hours. Eren gave a quick nod, confirming Levi’s words.

“She was... _interesting?_ ” Eren supplied a word he knew was not a lie, but one that was not the first thought when Hanji Zoe crossed someone’s mind, more like-

“Bat-shit crazy, you mean.” Levi supplied Eren’s words and Eren couldn’t help the laugh that fell from his lips, hiding it behind his hand and nodding.

“That too.” Eren concedes. Levi nods and for the briefest of seconds Eren’s sure he sees the corners of his lips turn up a fraction. Eren counts that as a personal victory.

Only a few hours later when Eren felt the train jolt and shake unsteadily did he shoot Levi a glance, when Eren’s eyes landed on Levi, Levi was already looking to Eren. The confusion that ghosted Levi’s expression was enough to tell Eren that this was not an ordinary thing for a train to do. That or Levi was just as untraveled as Eren was.

The train came to an abrupt stop; the screech of metal sliding against metal filled their ears. Eren closed his eyes tightly, despite the stopping train having no effect on his sight, and covered his ears with his palms in an attempt to dull the sound. When he felt the shuddering noises come to an end, Eren opened his eyes and dropped his hands. He raised his eyes back up to Levi, who was still looking at Eren with a confused edge to his eyes.

“We stopped?” Eren asked, glancing to the definitely unmoving scenery outside. He thinks for a moment as he worries his lip, a nervous habit he’d picked up a while ago.

“No shit, brat.” Levi frowned and removed himself from his chair and stepped towards the train doors. Levi pressed the emergency escape button before stepping out into the barren and desolate area. “We definitely stopped.” He sounded annoyed, as if he had not really wanted to believe that they had stopped but the ground beneath them was stationary and that made Levi irate.

A shrill shriek of shock and terror pierces Eren and Levi’s silence and both men turn automatically to the sound of distress. A woman, perhaps a few years younger than Levi, was running from the pilot of the train. Fear and terror was evident on her face as she rushed to Levi and Eren, the only people who had exited the train already. She ran into Eren, grasping him tightly by the forearms. Her eyes remained wide and psychotic, glazed over with fear. Eren had to wonder whether she could actually see through the terror; it seemed so palpable in her eyes.

“T-The engineer!” She cries, her voice as shrill as her scream was. Eren notes her visible shaking as she trembles while he was in her hold. “H-He’s... _He’s infected.”_ She whispers, leaning closer to Eren as she says so in a thin raspy voice that makes Eren’s skin crawl. She let’s go of Eren and continues running, keeping as far away from the condemned man as possible. Eren’s frightened gaze turns to Levi; the condemned could do nothing to Eren, but there were others on the train. Levi, having shared a moment of eye contact with Eren, decided on his route of action. He stalked off towards the front of the train, locating the engineer’s room easily.

The room was tiny and cramped, no place for a human being to sit for hours on end. It was hot too; the air clung heavily around them and weighed them down with every passing second. Levi sought out the engineer easily, kneeling before him but making no move to make contact with him. _Thank God,_ Eren thought. The last thing he needed was a dying Levi on his hands. Levi watched the man for a moment, whom was currently pushed up against the control panel. His skin was sickly pale, an almost purple with even darker veins spreading out like poisoned roots along his skin. He clawed at it, clawed at his throat to make the pain of dying stop. Eren could not look at the man but his rushed, loud breathing was unmistakable. It was the breath of a man who could get no air into his lungs. They had given up. To give Eren something to look at, he watched Levi and his ever stoic expression. His face was as placid as ever; cold, disinterested, indifferent and, _no,_ that wasn’t indifference. Eren watched even more curiously as sympathy and _emotion_ passed over Levi’s eyes.

It had been the sadness he had seen in Levi, and the obvious heaviness in his heart, that Eren last thought of when Levi pulled the trigger of a gun Eren didn’t know he had. He had drawn it from an inside pocket of his suit. Before Eren could react Levi had an empty barrel and the previously condemned man had been welcomed to oblivion. From the close impact blood was sent hurtling through the air and sprayed Eren across the cheek lightly. He stood, frozen, staring blankly at the back of Levi’s head.

Levi stood, his expression void of emotion again as he stands quickly and turns on his heel as only a soldier could and marched himself from the remains of the man he had just murdered. Eren had continued to be paralytic; staring into the space Levi had just exited.

“ _Brat”_ He heard his name being called and blinked a few times. _Levi had shown compassion,_ and then he cold-heartedly murdered someone. Immediately he was angry, more than angry; Eren was furious. He, unlike Levi, did not turn on his heel and march out, Eren jumped from the train door and landed harshly on the dried dirt before lengthening his gait and grabbing a hold of Levi’s shoulder.

“What the _fuck?”_ Eren yelled, throwing his arms into the air. His eyes, which were usually so full of joy and brightness, broiled with a rage and determination that did not go unnoticed by Levi. There was a flitting moment that Eren saw approval in his eyes and that only served to aggravate Eren more.

“What?” He sounded so disinterested, his eyes so cold and his voice so disconnected that Eren was sure this was not the same man who had asked to hear Eren’s story inside of their carriage.

“You just fucking _murdered_ a man _,_ you cold-hearted _bastard. LOOK LIKE IT.”_ Eren shouted, his face red with his anger and his eyes pricking with angry tears. He hated those, he was _angry_ he was not fucking _sad._

“You get that, Levi? You _killed_ a man.” Eren’s voice was full of venom, full of as much hatred for Levi as he could muster. At that moment, Eren could witness the indifference draining from Levi, and a sort of melancholy takes its place.

“He was suffering.” Was Levi’s reply, he never removed his gaze from Eren’s. His cyan greens trapped in Levi’s cold blue. “He was in _pain,_ Eren.” Levi, who had to look up to meet the gaze of the other man, glanced away momentarily as if the hatred in Eren’s eyes was too much for him. “He would have infected the others on the train, you know that, and most importantly; he knew that. Idiot came into work even though he knew today was the day.” Levi turned on his heel again, completely unable to face Eren at that moment.

“I did him a _justice!_ ” as a man who was prided on his indifference and calm nature, he was now yelling back at Eren with as much ferocity as Eren had shown him. Levi rarely lost his temper, and now it seemed as if a fire had been lit within him. Levi was many things; distant, crass and a little forward with his words but Levi was not cold-hearted – he was very much the opposite.

“The first thing you need to know about me, Eren? Other than that I like cleanliness? Is that I hate unnecessary deaths. His was necessary; I can assure you of that.” Eren had stopped stock still again as Levi had argued his point and now anger drained from him as easy as it had been placed there and he felt like a child. He felt so utterly helpless to the situation. All Eren wanted to do was help people be free from this monstrosity devouring mankind and he was powerless at this moment to do so. Eren was as powerless as Levi in that moment, and the thought terrified him in ways he wasn’t sure he could comprehend. If Humanity’s Strongest was powerless, what made people believe that Eren could do much more? He takes a deep, calming, breath and jogs to meet Levi’s stride again.

“What do we do now?” Eren asked as he reaches him, hoping to ease some tension. He looked around and frowned; they were in the middle of nowhere. Eren had never seen anything like this; the ground was covered in dry dirt that cracked. There were many cracks in the dirt, but rarely was there a green stalk sprout to be seen. The ground seemed to stretch on as far as the eye could see in all directions; the barren landscape never seemed to give way to any trees or shrubs. Just more dirt.

“I don’t fucking know, do I? We have our orders. We walk on; look for something else to take us to your shitty neighbourhood.” Levi frowned and kicked the dirt at his feet. “And it’s fucking filthy out here, just my luck”.

Eren felt this may be a long journey, but instead of frowning he gave an unwarranted laugh at Levi’s strange list of priorities. Of course the cleanliness of the ground would be number one. He _had_ just told him that it was the most important thing to know about him.

“Stop laughing, you shitty brat, let’s get going.” His voice held no real venom, but it was seldom Levi’s voice held anything but indifference anyway.

“We’re seriously walking all the way to Arizona?” Eren asked, throwing a glance Levi’s way.

“If we have to.”

~~~

The walk was far more gruelling than either of the men had expected, the only difference between them was that Levi didn’t complain. Eren’s complaints were incessant; if it wasn’t the heat; it was the soreness of his legs, or the hunger he felt. They walked long and far in the direction the train was headed, hoping to come by a town or village that way. The train had stopped early morning and by mid afternoon both men were sweltering under the intense heat of the sun. Levi had removed his suit jacket, the flintlock pistol he had used in order to shoot the infected engineer slung from a holster on his narrow hips. He had removed his tie and carried them over his forearm, his shirt unbuttoned so as to remove the suffocating feeling of having a shirt buttoned all the way to the top in ninety five degree Fahrenheit weather. Eren was close to removing his t-shirt, hoping that it would provide at least some reprieve from the heat.

Eren and Levi walked for a long time with no conversation at all between them, only silence and dirt stretched out for what seemed like the longest time. The silence was only broken by Eren’s whines and the dirt was only broken by the occasional plant. 

It was hours before they found a village, just a small one, but one that would do. The pair were dragging their feet by the time they’d reached the village, their lips dry and cracked and their skin sizzling in the quickening of the sunset. Thankfully they were able to rent a room in a hotel that looked homely. Only one room was available, however, and so Eren and Levi had to sleep in the same cramped bed; not that it mattered to either of them at that moment in time. A bed was a bed and that was all they wanted.

“Don’t you dare spoon me, you shit.” Levi warned as he peeled his dirtied clothes from his skin and still folded them lightly before placing them on a chair nearby. Eren did the same, leaving the men clad in only their boxers. Neither of them cared; they had walked so long they had gotten blisters on the bottom of their feet and the reprieve from standing was so intoxicating they didn’t care who they were sleeping next to.

“I’ll try.” Came Eren’s reply as he snuggled deeper into the warm quilt. His feet and legs ached and his face and arms were burning but the sensation of being off his feet in a cool bed was so mind-numbingly beautiful that it lulled Eren to sleep in moments. Levi watched the kid curiously for a few moments, he had just met Eren but the man was so confusing. He appeared cheery and youthful, but there was a dangerous determination that sought any and all destruction on the virus that robbed him of his father and his mother.

Although Eren wasn’t sure that sheer determination would be enough.


	3. Before the Taking of Toast and Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi find out some upsetting news and set upon their journey again.

“ _You can fuck right off.”_

Eren was roused from his sleep by the sound of angry voices – well, at least an angry voice. Eren’s eyes flutter open slowly through their sleep and his eyes soon focus on the door to the hotel room where Levi was standing, dressed in his suit from yesterday once again and managing to still look immaculate. The door stands wide open but still held in Levi’s right hand, allowing Eren a perfect view of the altercation. A new voice speaks up, an overly friendly tone only barely disguising the frustration and exhaustion they felt already. Eren couldn’t quite make out the politely spoken answer, but he could, however, see Levi pinch the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his free hand.

“You’re fucking kidding me. _There isn’t anyone?_ ” He hisses, obviously angered by the person on the other side of the door and if Eren leaned far enough to the side he could see a rather large man with a relatively kind face standing before Levi. There was more conversation exchanged until Levi nodded solemnly and closed the door as the other man walked away. Levi turned to see Eren watching him curiously and Eren watched as the furrow between his brows grew deeper.

“What is it?” Eren asks, having sat up in his bed to watch Levi more closely; he still wasn’t sure if he could trust the man. He had killed someone yesterday, after all, albeit it was an infected and Eren couldn’t really hold it against Levi for long.

“There’s no one riding from here to the next town over, or in fact to Arizona.” He frowns, releasing the bridge of his nose and moving to rub circles into his temples alternatively.

“you’re fucking kidding me? Nowhere between here and there? We’ll have to walk?” Eren removes himself from the covers and steps over to his clothes from yesterday, picking up the dirtied material; He could never look as clean cut as Levi appeared still despite their circumstances.

“Appears so, brat. Let’s get food and water before he head off this time. I’m not in the mood to listen to you bitch all the way to Arizona.” Levi, who was ready and waiting for Eren, turned to face the door as if waiting for another visitor. He tapped his foot and folded his arms and Eren supposed this was Levi’s special way of telling Eren to hurry up. So he did, Eren dressed in record time and stood beside Levi ready to go.

By the time they’d gathered their supplies for the next day of walking, they were ready to get this show on the road. They removed themselves from the village and started walking in the direction that the kind lady at the front desk had instructed them to go. Lucky for Eren, Levi was bright enough to buy a map and so he could kind of see where they were going now.

The walk was as gruelling as their walk the day previously, if not worse so due to their already aching limbs. They spoke of everything and yet they spoke of nothing; Eren thought it unfair that this strange man knew his entire life story but Eren knew next to nothing about him, and that reality of that seemed odd. He didn’t realise how mysterious the shorter male had seemed until that moment of revelation. Eren decided starting with safe questions would keep the conversation light, although Levi’s face when Eren asked what his favourite shape was had been priceless.

“So, hey, Levi.” Eren spoke up after a bout of silence they had both shared. Eren had kicked the dirt every step he made, mulling over more conversational topics so that he and Levi were not entire strangers. Not that they were, Eren felt that after their horrible walk yesterday they were better acquaintances and Eren had learned to take the man’s insults as compliments.

“I swear to God if you ask me anything like ‘What is your favourite steamed vegetable’ again, I may actually have to forget my orders.” He snapped, although his words held no venom. Eren was sure the glare he received could kill him had they been so inclined.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Eren held back a snicker, hiding it behind his hand as they walked. They’d probably walked at least six hours by this point and Levi was becoming irritable whereas Eren was becoming livelier in his exhaustion. “Look, you’re tired, let’s stop for a bit.” Levi sent him a glare, but would not walk on from where Eren had planted his feet firmly on the dirt. Eren plopped himself down and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle while looking up to Levi, challenging him to sit down on the dirt.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I’m disgusting right now anyway.” He said, grief evident in his tone. “Your question, brat, what was it?” Levi, who had now sat down on the ground, his legs stretched out before him much like Eren’s were.

“Oh- Uhm. I noticed in the train, but didn’t want to bring it up.” Eren started, turning his gaze from Levi then from embarrassment. “The way you hold your tea cup, it’s...interesting.” Eren comments, still looking at anything that was not Levi, and instead of getting an insult thrown his way like he assumed he would Levi gave a single snort. Eren lifted his gaze to find Levi’s face contorted into one of amusement. The arrangement seemed odd on his features but made him appear far more handsome than he already was, made him seem infinitesimally younger.

“I grew up on the streets.” Levi explained, turning his own gaze from Eren now as he looked out over the horizon that stretched out for miles in all directions. “I didn’t have anything while growing up, and I got this tea set.” He carried on, his gaze had softened and he had visibly relaxed. “And I was so excited, I was so happy to have something so dear to me.” His voice appears nostalgic in a way that has Eren thinking about his own childhood.

“I picked up the tea cup and the handle snapped beneath my fingers and I was heartbroken.” Levi shrugged, giving another huff of air to announce his amusement. “It’s childish, but I vowed never to break anything as beautiful as a teacup ever again.” His voice had trailed off at the end, his usually cheeks full of pallor seemed to brighten into a rosy hue of a blush that left him seeming much younger than he had seemed previously.

“That’s not stupid.” Eren decided, his gaze never shifting from the horizon. “I think it’s sweet- that you don’t want to break anything, that is.” Eren felt Levi’s gaze on him but made no move to confirm the suspicion. Eren’s face grew red and he shook his head. “You know what I mean.” He finally says, giving a soft chuckle.

“Pretty sure that’s the first time anyone’s called me sweet after sleeping in a bed with me.” Levi murmurs, mostly to himself as they walk.

The pair had decided that had they not been forced into walking, they would have enjoyed the scenery that the landscape provided them both. But as it were, they despised the ground they walked on and despised the blisters it left on their feet that much more. Now they had water and food, however, and so the journey was bearable, at least.

“What about you, kid? Tell me about the ‘dreams’ you’ve been having.” Eren sees Levi peek over in his peripheral vision and Eren doesn’t want to much answer the question but takes a deep breath. He frowns momentarily, his gaze fixed forward and a crease forming between his eyebrows as he recalls as much as he can.

“For years when I was young I used to have the same nightmare.” He begins; his hands in his pockets in an attempt to hide the fact they had began to shake ever so slightly. Eren tried to explain, “I always ended up in the basement, I don’t know how I know it’s the basement because I was never allowed in there but I always seemed to know that was where I was.” Eren turns his head up to the blue sky for a moment, attempting to gather his thoughts. “My Father he- He had me strapped to a bed. Belts held my legs down, my waist down and my shoulders down.” He takes a deep breath and gives a forced shrug, with an equally forced curve of the lips. “He was always injecting me, you know. Same place, same ugly liquid.” Eren involuntarily shudder at the memory.

“Eren, I- I didn’t...you don’t have to...” And Eren had no idea what tone of voice he had used, or what expression had come over his face to make Levi react this way. He had shot a man dead – and many more, he was an assassin afterall – and he was emotionally constipated all the time. Eren must have shown some serious agony at the memory to have elicited such a reaction from Levi. Somewhere deep down, Eren was thankful for this piece of compassion, and could feel affection grow within him towards the man.

“No. No I have to tell someone.” His voice is harsher, more determined now. “I could only mention it briefly to Hanji, so I have to tell someone. No one else knows; not even Mikasa or Armin.” Levi’s gaze, which had strayed from their set path to watch Eren, turned forward again and he nodded gravely, his lips thin and small. “Whenever I dreamed, or at least I thought it was a dream, I’d call out to my father to stop; that he was hurting me. He never stopped, though, and the liquid drained into my arm over and over again.” He frowned thoughtfully for a moment. “I only realised that it might not be a dream when one day I caught sight of something odd in the mirror.” Eren sucks in a deep breath and lifts his sleeve in order to show Levi what he meant.

Levi’s gaze turned at Eren’s pause and his eyes widened marginally when he took notice of the small, circular scar on his upper arm. Though it was not the scar that was startling, it was the immediate bright red veins that caught his attention particularly. They were thin and short and if a passer-by was to suddenly appear, they would not have noticed what Levi was apparently shocked by.

“That was when I knew it wasn’t a dream, and that something terrible was happening to me but...what could I do? My father was a doctor, and no one would believe his bull-headed son that ran head first into fights.” Eren gave a shrug, letting his sleeve fall and cover the scar. His eyes turned forward and remained so; they were hard and cold and distant. His movements seemed stiff.

“Eren.” Levi started, obviously struggling to find words of comfort – this wasn’t something he was accustomed to. “We’ll get to your basement, we’ll discover the way to take this bastard virus down and we’ll create an antidote, okay? I promise you.” Levi’s voice was just as hard as Eren’s eyes had been and Eren’s movements relaxed somewhat. Eren gave a curt nod and a ‘hmph’ of agreement. Eren was relieved, he was comforted by Levi’s promise and knew how difficult it was for him to comfort, so Eren felt extra appreciative of the shorter male.

“ _Wait._ Is that- is that a village in the distance?” Eren asked, raising a hand horizontally over his eyes, as if it would make him see farther. “Do you see lights, Levi?”

“I think I do, kid, I think I do.” Levi seemed relieved, they had walked for hours and it was late in the evening, both men’s legs were aching and sore from the past two day journey.

“How long do you think it’ll take?” Eren asked, his eyes bright and expectant again, Levi was happy to see the change.

“Maybe a couple hours? We should get their by night fall.” Levi supposed that was correct.

“You mean...I’ll get a _bed_ tonight?” Eren’s voice was high pitched with hope and excitement.

“God, I hope you get one by yourself. You snore like a pig.” Levi deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

“Not as bad as you.” Eren shot back childishly.

“I do not snore, you little shit.” Levi looked back, eyes glaring accusingly at Eren. Eren made a cheerful sound in the back of his throat.

“Do too, it’s loud as well _really loud”_ Eren teased, laughing quietly to himself. The sound was cut off, however, by a smack to the back of the head from Levi. His laughter began anew, and the peeling sound trailed behind them as they walked. Their pace had quickened some from their want to get their as soon as possible.

That night, once a hotel room was given to them each (since they had two spare rooms this time), they had began to relax themselves in their rooms. They weren’t much, Eren’s room was small and quaint with warm covers that smelled like pinetrees and mint. Just as he was about to settle into the duvet and snuggle up, he heard a curt knock at the door. Eren grumbled silently to himself and made his way to the door, clad in only his underwear. He opened the door to reveal Levi in only his boxers also. Eren tried not to think about the hard lines of his stomach, or of his entire being really. He also tried not to think about why he even had to think about not thinking of Levi’s hard lines.

In short, Eren had stared a little before greeting Levi. “Levi? What’s up?” Eren asked, clearing his throat.

“I wanted to- uh, to thank you, kid, for telling me about the...you know.” His voice trailed off, and Eren was aware of how uncomfortable Levi felt about feeling uncomfortable, and so his thanks was touching to Eren, who gave Levi a genuine smile and nodded.

“Anytime, Levi. Thanks for telling me about the teacup thing too.” Eren said, giving a small nod. They said their goodbyes and Eren went to bed feeling as if he’d relieved himself of a heavy burden that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy I could get this one out, I literally just finished Chapter four, and I cannot wait to release it. This entire thing is extremely exciting.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, my dearest darlings.  
> (This is also unedited, so I'm apologising for any mistakes. I will read over at a later time and make sure everything is top.)


	4. Lay Your Weary Head to Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren end up in a village, madness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UPDATING.  
> I AM NOT EVEN A HUNDRED WORDS INTO MY NEXT CHAPTER. I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS. SEND HELP.  
> (I have had such a stressful and exhausting day, however, and needed something to calm me and writing just isn't coming to me when I want to crawl in a hole for a ery long time.)

Once the pair of men had woken – or at least, once Levi had woken Eren up – they went about restocking their food packs, filling it with fresh water and fresh fruit to keep them hydrated and full. They idled for a while to rest their feet longer than just for the time they were asleep. Eren and Levi sat together on a bench, watching the few people of the tiny village get on with their lives. It was almost easy to forget that there was a parasitic virus destroying most of mankind.  Almost.

Their legs were weary and so were their eyes. For as long as they slept, they felt as if they had walked triple that length of time. Levi had forced Eren to burst his blisters and clean the open wound just as he had done. The fresh pink skin was very sensitive to walk on, but was not agony as it had been before. Not only were their legs sore and aching, but their entire bodies simply _ached_ with the overexertion the pair were putting their bodies through in order to reach their destinations as quickly as possible.

Eren felt as if he’d never not been tired, even after a full night of sleeping, his eyes were still heavy and energy had been drained from him.

“Damn, kid, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this empty.” Levi commented dryly, covering his own discomfort extremely well, so well Eren supposed Levi didn’t feel anything at all. His tone, however, did contain a touch of concern, and Eren was sure that the man sat next to him had not meant to let that emotion slip passed.

“We’ve been walking, what, two days straight now? I think the blisters on my toes had blisters.” Eren wasn’t joking either, it was a very real concern he had held. Levi snorted a laugh and shook his head.

“Seriously, though, don’t keel over and die on me. I don’t want this trip to be for fucking nothing, mind you.” He gave Eren a pointed glance and stood, marching off and looking back to call Eren into following him. The taller male sighed deeply and stood, following Levi closely.

“You’re such a romantic.” Eren commented just as dryly as Levi had earlier. He rolled his eyes and gave a small, tired smile. Levi glared at him but otherwise said nothing - unless flipping Eren off counted as saying something.

Exiting the village they stayed true to their course of action, taking as direct a route as was possible in order to reach Arizona. Levi observed the map in his hands closely for a while and looked up before frowning off into the distance.

“We’re headed towards a wall.” The wall ahead was at least another hour’s walk away, but it was smaller than most other walls. Eren had heard that somewhere near Germany, they had sectioned off that corner of the world by using three massive walls in a circular fashion. The most protected in the inner most wall ring. Eren thought that was worse than what they had in America.

Within the hour they reached the wall, it was larger than both men put together and it stretched out on either side until it disappeared into the horizon. The tops of the walls were covered in barbed wire, not that anyone made it past the guards. Ever.

“Step up!” A man yells. His face colder than Levi’s and his voice holding a mechanic likeness that made Eren’s skin crawl. It didn’t look like these soldiers had any humanity left in them.  Eren supposes they’re a part of the Military Police and are cracking underneath the weight of _actual_ work.

Levi seemed to respond appropriately, stepping up to the man with just as much mechanic coldness in his movements. If Eren had thought his eyes were cold and hard while he was with Eren, he must have hugely misjudged Levi’s expressions. The look Levi had now had the way Levi looked while he was with Eren seem like innate joy and emotion. The man scans Levi over, pulling out a small torch to search Levi’s pupil reflexes and the dilation of the pupil. The member of the Military Police man handled Levi roughly, searching his skin for any form of tautness or discolouration. Once they were positive Levi was clean, they repeated the actions with Eren. Once Eren was completed they asked  a number of questions that seemed far more personal than were necessary, although when the fact that Levi worked with the Survey Corps came out, both Eren and Levi passed through the wall much sooner than they otherwise would have.

“Not what you know, it’s who you know, kid.” Levi gave a small curve of the lips and a nod in Eren’s direction as they walked on. Eren couldn’t contain the eye roll that came from him and his smile turned into a small smirk.

“I’m sure if I’d said that I _literally_ hold the key to destroying this thing they’d let me through, too.” He remained smug for a moment before Levi snorted. Levi laughing was a great mystery to Eren; the sound so unprecedented and honest that Eren was sure Levi almost never expected the sound to leave himself.

“ _Right_ , kid, you realise those were the guys trying to get you to run experiments on you, right?”Levi shot a glance to Eren and Eren’s smug smirk become a soft down-pull of his lips as he thought deeply. So it had been the Military Police after him, Eren wasn’t surprised. He’d heard of corruption within the group often. Eren shook his head from his thoughts and tried for a lop-sided grin.

“You realise that Hanji experimented on me, right?” Eren chuckled lowly, his eyes turning back to the route they had planned themselves. Eren thought he could see a village far off in the distance but he wasn’t entirely sure. If he had, they would not reach their destination till nightfall.

“Touché, .I’ll concede to that, brat. However, Hanji’s experiments were nothing compared to what the MP would have done.” Levi assures him in a cold, hard tone that ascertains Eren’s feelings of mistrust towards the organisation. Eren involuntarily shudders and frowns as his imagination runs wild with the possibilities the Military Police could have thought of to experiment on him. The more Eren thought of his situation, the more he realised how fucked up it really was.

“I think there’s a town over there.” Eren points in front of them. He had hoped to change the topic of conversation, mostly due to the fact that Eren wasn’t completely comfortable with talking about an entire organisation desperate to have him so they could play with his body however they damn well pleased.

“Yes, I thought I saw it a half mile back, but it’s definitely there now.” Levi nods, seemingly happy with the change in topic. “We should be there by nightfall. Rest our legs, get some sleep.” Levi nods, the last bit appealing to him more than he might like to admit.

The rest of the journey was done in comfortable silence. Mostly Eren just liked to watch Levi walk beside him. It had been a couple of days, and the ruggedness that had become of Levi was not a thing that Eren complained about. He marvelled over the thin stubble that lined his jaw, barely noticeable but somehow bringing out the blue in his eyes more. Every time Eren caught himself in awe at Levi’s appearance, he would have to ask himself when he had become attracted to a short-tempered midget, and knew that it was likely something Mikasa would say had she been there. Eren supposes being stuck with a person all day and night kind of affected you, especially when you were left exhausted, sweaty, and aching at the end of the day.

Eren would feel Levi’s gaze on him as well, but Eren supposed it was more of a glower, warning him to stop staring. Eren had become so accustomed to Levi’s brash nature and his crass sense of humour that he could practically hear the man in his head. The thought had Eren laughing a little, the sound had earned him a cocked eyebrow from Levi, but no words ushered an answer.

Nightfall seemed to arrive quicker than the pair had thought, and so had the village. For it being late it seemed alive and full of people, brimming with an enchanted excitement that kept the streets aglow. Every house had its lights on and it illuminated the area around the village, drawing people to it like flies to a UV light. Eren and Levi were ragged and tired and probably the furthest thing from what the inhabitants of the village had expected. They walked up to the hotel and asked for a spare room or two.

 _“What?”_ came Levi’s harsh, quick tone. Eren hadn’t heard that tone since they had left their first hotel. And so there was nowhere. No vacancies within the hotel, and no one else seemed to have room in their homes for – what looked like – two misfits on the run from the law. Levi couldn’t fault them much, it had become human nature to fear what they didn’t know, and for all they know both men could be infected.

“You men, there.” Came a low, throaty and friendly voice. Eren turned first to see an elderly man with no hair on his head and crows feet by his eyes. Eren gave a warm smile and tapped Levi’s shoulder. Levi turned and glared at the man.

“Yes, sir?” Eren tried, knowing that had it been Levi to speak the pair of them would probably end up in a jail if the tiny village had one.

“You travellin’?” He asked, his eyes were as warm as his smile and both Levi and Eren gravitated towards it, Levi more so because Eren was gravitated.  Eren nodded politely.

“No, we always like to walk around like we look homeless.” Levi shot, and only stopped to huff when Eren shot Levi a dangerous look. Levi, had he been so inclined, would have reminded the brat who, in fact, was in charge here.

“Well, I’m riding to the next three or four o’ the towns over. We should get there by morning light. If you want a lift, that is.” His offer was gracious and kind and Eren took it with plentiful thanks. Levi gave the man a handful of coins, and hoped that conveyed his gratitude enough. God knows the man was emotionally constipated at the best of times.

“Come along then.” He said, smiling just as warmly. Levi would have been concerned about the overly friendly man, but he knew he still had the flintlock, and if worst came to worst...he could always use it; it wasn’t as if he didn’t know how.

The pair of men scrambled into the bald man - whose name turned out to be Dot Pixis –‘s carriage. Levi and Eren sat in the back and Pixis was nice enough to have given the pair a blanket, to which Eren covered himself with immediately. It was at this time Eren realised just how exhausted he was, and how sore his legs were. He rested his temple on Levi’s shoulder, and when that wasn’t comfortable enough he shuffled far enough down the plank of wood they were sitting on so that he could lie and place his head in Levi’s lap. Eren was far too exhausted to question his movements, and for heaven’s sake, they had stayed in the same bed. Eren supposed it wasn’t all that weird to use Levi as a pillow, and it was actually comfortable.

Levi had remained entirely still when he had realised Eren was going to use him as his personal pillow. He would normally have been enraged and have thrown the kid from the carriage, but there was something so serene and peaceful about Eren’s relaxed face that made Levi’s knitted brows and frown turn into a soft, affectionate smile. He rolls his eyes at the brown haired man and shakes his head in disbelief. He had started to have a stupid crush on a stupid boy. Levi started to gently card his fingers through Eren’s rough and thick hair subconsciously.

“How long have the two of you been dating?” Dot said from the front seat, the heavy footfalls of horses rather like a lullaby in their steady rhythm. Levi’s hand had stilled and he frowned momentarily.

“We aren’t. Stupid kid is under my protection.”

“There was a hint of affection in that tone there.” Dot Pixis laughed as loudly and as freely as Eren had, and it had been that moment that Levi decided Dot Pixis was a man to remember.

“Perhaps, but that is not my priority.” Levi sighed, using his free hand to grip the bridge of his nose in hopes of alleviating the exhaustion fuelled headache he was about to receive. Had Levi been paying actual attention to the man who laid on his lap, he would have realised that Eren’s breathing had not yet slowed and had not yet begun its usual steady rhythm.

“And what is your priority if not one’s own happiness?” Dot Pixis asked, a lightness in his tone that barely disguised the curious edge. He was a smart man, a cunning man. Levi could tell.

“Keeping the brat alive, harder than you think.” Levi informs the man, the touch of affection back in his tone.

The ride was quiet for a while and Levi decided the man was safe enough to sleep. Trying to get as comfortable as he could in the position he was left in, Levi slowly drifted off to sleep with his fingers continuing to stroke Eren’s hair.

When they awoke they were where they were supposed to be, and at least four or five days ahead of their schedule. The pair, despite their uncomfortable rest – or at least in Levi’s case – had never felt quite so rested in all of their time journeying. They thanked Dot Pixis gratuitously and parted on their separate ways. They had, indeed, stopped in a village and both men felt it necessary to restock their dwindling supply of water and fresh fruit.

Once they had the necessities, they set off again.


	5. Just to be the Man that Walked a Thousand Miles to Fall Down at Your Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi make some real progress and become within spitting distance of Eren's hometown.

This routine followed for a couple of weeks after. Every now and then they would come across another kindred soul who could give the pair a ride to a few towns over but mostly they walked. Even with their fresh fruit – which was enough to quench their thirst but not their hunger, not entirely anyway – and their water, the pair had never quite felt so famished or parched in their journey. Their lips were chapped and dry and their skin was rough and unshaven. Their feet ached worse than they had previously and Eren and Levi were so exhausted that they numbly contemplated the idea of stopping off in a village for more than just the one night – even Levi entertained the idea for a moment. A moment and no longer; as soon as the thought had been entertained, it had left his mind. They trudged on, their breathing heavy and laboured and their joints aching from their journey.

The pair, having finally reached a village they’d spotted a few miles back, had sat down to eat and rest. There was but one spare room, and the pair could not complain, a bed was a bed afterall. Once their stomach’s were full and they had each showered Eren and Levi collapsed into the double bed the hotel had free and as sleep pulled him under, Eren found himself clinging to Levi’s unexpected warmth; needing it desperately.

When Eren awoke his position had no changed and he had to wriggle free from Levi’s own grasp in order to escape the inevitable irritated morning Levi.

“Get the fuck back, you brat. You woke me; I haven’t slept this well in forever. _Now.”,_ Eren didn’t have to be asked twice, he finds his way back to Levi’s side. This time it had been the shorter male to cling to Eren’s side. It was entirely too endearing for Eren, whose stomach just felt as if it’d fallen out of his body.

“Sorry” He murmured, and for a while longer they both drifted back into sleep. Too exhausted, and too much in need of actual body warmth – since the heat soothed their muscles and bones. It was perhaps then that Eren found it difficult to imagine this person as an assassin; this man, so desperate for warmth that he clung to Eren in mere hopes of alleviating the knots and aches of his body.  And yet Eren had watched Levi take a man’s life before his very eyes.

When they finally awoke for the last time that day they dressed and ate in relative silence. They spoke briefly to the receptionist of the hotel, Petra, and she offered them some food to take on their journey and the men took it with much thanks and gracious words. They could not thank the woman enough, she was bright and friendly. When they set on their way again, Eren had a spring in his step and if Levi had let slip an exasperated smile then Eren ignored it in hopes of catching more.

The journey this time felt easier, even if their entire bodies screamed at them. It seemed as if the nerves doing the screaming were numbing, or at least ignoring the aches and pains of their bodies. Or perhaps it had been their encounter with Petra; she had brightened Eren and Levi’s day and put a spring in Eren’s step and given them food. The experience of meeting such a kind soul out there in the middle of apparent nowhere had been refreshing and much needed. Even if her fiancé had been a tad... _strange._ The moment he tried to get serious conversation out, he had slipped and bit his tongue rather violently. It would have been comical if Eren hadn’t been so stunned by the clumsiness. It wasn’t like Eren was extraordinary with his coordination, but this brought _accident prone_ to a whole new level.

For the next couple of weeks the pair made excellent progress, and soon they were within the state of Arizona thanks to occasional carriage rides and their diligent walking routine. The streets were barren and empty, there was next to no life forms left in the streets that Eren and Levi walked. Though Eren had lived within the state his entire life, he had never been to this part and although some of the city and town names appeared familiar, he could not direct them yet. Levi decided on buying a state map in order to arrive in Eren’s home city as quick as possible. As it turned out they were not far out; three days at most and a day and a half at least. The closeness of Eren’s home made the pair release a lot of stress that they’d been holding onto without really thinking about it. A weight had been lifted off their shoulders and _man, did it feel good._

During their walk, at some point, they had tried to figure out how far they’d walked. The conversation became hated quickly when Eren argued that they had walked over four thousand miles, while Levi argued that it was just over three thousand.

“You’re fucking crazy.” Levi argued, pointing dramatically towards the old map he held in his hands, tattered and ready to fall apart. “ _We haven’t walked as far as you think!”_

“No, but there was all our stopping and sleeping!” Eren argued, and to that Levi had to stop and stare at him, dumbstruck by the idiocy he was hearing. He began to snicker and he shook his head, shoving Eren away from him playfully.

“You’re an idiot, brat. You realise that lost time doesn’t mean extra miles.”

“B-But!” He stutters, indignant, still trying desperately to argue a point he had realised as soon as he had said it that he was wrong. In the end he folds his arms over his chest and huffs childishly. Levi rolls his eyes and Eren mimics him, mocking Levi. He catches sight of someone while doing so however and noticing they looked in bad shape ran up to help them.

“NO, _no. Stay back!”_ Their voice was weakening and Eren couldn’t help but think that shouting at him to stop had taken more of them than should have been taken. Eren steps forward reluctantly, noticing now the paleness of the skin and the vivid purple veins barely beneath the skin. Eren had never encountered a person so far along. Even the train driver had seemed in better shape than this, and he had been clawing ravenously at his neck.

The woman was staggering, chunks of flesh clawed from her legs had become infected and putrid, leaving muscle and fat exposed. Her eyes were flickering between consciousness and unconsciousness and Eren had always heard the stories. The stories of the dying sick, in their last hours became horrendously violent; strength came back to them in rolling waves of anger and resentment. Eren may have been immune to the actual virus, but he was in no way immune to psychotic murderous... _zombies_ for lack of a better word.

“I’m sorry.” She murmured, her voice weak and shallow in its grief and Eren knew then that he couldn’t hate this woman, no matter what she became. She had not asked for this and she meant no harm; was forced to follow a path she had not, in the end, chosen. Eren nodded slowly, even after all emotion with the exceptions of vengeance and anger had left her gaze. Levi had been watching the altercation slowly, evaluating the situation in a way only he could. In their miles of talking and walking Eren had learned a few things about the man he had come to admire greatly. The most important one that sprung to mind in this situation was that he had brought only two bullets with him. They were precaution and he wanted to use them as little as possible fearing drawing more infected towards them and putting Eren in more danger.

So when Levi lunged forward the same time the woman had lunged for Eren, Eren was stunned paralysed, just as he had in the engine room of the train that month and a half ago. He watched in stunned horror as Levi wraps his fingers around her head and with a solid, skilful twist of his wrists her neck was broken, protruding from her dead pale skin. Her dead eyes stared only at Eren and she reminded him so greatly of his mother in that moment that he knew he must have been crying. He turned away and marched off, knowing that Levi would eventually match his pace. And when he did, Eren was wiping at his tears aggressively, wiping them angrily from his face as if they had personally did him wrong

“It was n-“

“Necessary. I know, it always is.” His tone was harsher than he had meant, and he knew he shouldn’t be taking his own anger at himself out on Levi, who had done nothing but protect him from day one.

“Eren that’s not fair.” Levi answers, his tone lacking the cold indifference Eren had come to know. Levi did not look up at Eren, and Eren didn’t look down to Levi, but if he was to guess he would put money on it that Levi’s eyes would be a tempest of subtle yet very real and heavy emotions.

“I know. I’m sorry. She reminded me of my mother.” Eren says softly, his gaze still forced forward. He recognised these streets from having visited them as a child, but nothing more than vague memories filled him at present. Vague memories were perhaps the bane of his existence at that very moment. He looks to the sky, more in hopes of keeping back another bout of tears than actually trying to gage the approximate time but when he finds that it is getting darker and darker, without any sign of a hotel he knows they have to find somewhere to sleep soon. Exhaustion had been pulling at him for a long while.

“We need to get somewhere to sleep.” Levi says, his tone solid and level, his movements stiff and almost mechanic. Eren nods and they soon find a park with a large tree to cover them if it were to rain. Eren and Levi lie against it, their backs pressed against firm, rough bark. The night sky expands above them for miles and stars shimmer down in their multitude and Eren gets lost in the inky abyss that is the night sky. After a moment, Eren turns his gaze to look at Levi, who had fallen fast asleep after the gruelling journey of the day. Eren smiles fondly and tentatively reaches out to take his hand and squeeze it gently.

When his hand comes away wet with blood, Eren becomes panicked and searches himself for cuts. When he finds none he lifts Levi’s hand gently so as not to wake him, when Eren turns the hand over he drops it without thought and it snaps to the ground, jostling Levi awake. He looks around hurriedly as to search for any threats, but when his eyes meet Eren’s he frowns deeply.

“You look like you just saw someone die.” Levi snarks, frowning. He was annoyed that the brat woke him, and with such a distraught look in his eyes, Levi had no idea how to aid the man in any way.

“I did. You killed her, dick.” He shoots back, trying to keep his tone as level as ever. Levi rolled his eyes and turned over, shuffling down the bark and entering a foetal position in order to get himself comfortable. He uses his hands as pillows. As soon as Eren is positive Levi is sleeping again, he covers his mouth in order to hold back the choked sobs that are now shaking his body violently. He tries desperately to hold his tears back but in the end they just begin to flow faster. His stomach in tough knots as he watches the man peacefully asleep beside him.

Eren couldn’t fall asleep that night. Not with the pain in his heart, and not with the incessant bubbling up of sobs and the very fresh memory of a very fresh scratch wound on Levi’s wrist still stuck in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the name of this chapter is a little long but I feel it is also a very good fit for the story.  
> And it's funny because I'm Scottish.  
> I'm sorry, proceed.  
> (This also hasn't been edited, and I'm not a hundred percent sure I actually like the way it turned out. Also, I'm drinking red wine, so it may be a little weird. I'm sorry! :( )


	6. It Shouldn't Have Been You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren has to come to terms with Levi's inevitable death, and he's not sure that he's ready to let go of his little munchkin. The reverse is also true, but he finds it much more difficult to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally hot off the presses, so if there are any /pressing/ (ahahahhaa get it? I'm so tired send help) matters, please mention them and I will fix them immediately!
> 
> I love you guys very very much! I hope you enjoy!

When Levi awakes Eren notes the darker circles beneath his eyes as well as the heaviness that hung there. Eren supposes Levi must know that he knows about the scratch, mainly because he doesn’t snipe when Eren checks him over in the morning to search for any tell-tale signs that, sure enough, were indicators of Levi’s infection. Levi does refuse to rest any longer and stands from beneath the tree, an orange hue colouring everything in the early morning light.

“Let’s get going.” Levi says his tone full of exhaustion and defeat. Eren had never heard that tone from Levi before and it had taken a few minutes for it to truly register in Eren’s mind. Levi couldn’t give up now, not now.

“My blood.” Eren suddenly says, his eyes widening and his eyebrows raising at his revelation. He turns to Levi and gives him his largest smile, beaming at the shorter male.

“What the fuck are you talking about, kid?” Levi rolled his eyes, kicking a few pebbles as they walked through the streets of Eren’s home state.

“My blood, if I give it to you...I might be able to...you know.” Eren trails off at the end of his sentence. His gaze falls from Levi and to the ground at his feet as he walked, a blush colouring his cheeks. No one talks for a long time but Eren watches slowly as Levi reaches tentatively for Eren’s hand and then stop himself, his hand dropping to his side again as if being caught doing something it was never supposed to do.

“Maybe.” Levi concedes, his tone flat and indifferent as he stares forward as a similar blush to Eren’s graces his cheeks lightly.

While they walk Eren can’t help but notice the slow pace to which they had slowed, Levi couldn’t keep his body moving at the same speed of Eren’s for long without feeling out of breath and tired. They had to stop multiple times for fear of Levi throwing up his breakfast. Each time they stopped Eren would rub calming circles into Levi’s back, hoping at least the small action would help. The real confirmation of Levi’s infection was that he didn’t have the energy to make some snide remark to Eren’s soothing actions, only a thank you.

They talked a lot, but nothing else of Levi’s...condition. Neither of them wanted to address it, so neither of them did. Instead their conversation consisted mostly of games they would play on the streets while they were children, or their similar desire to see the ocean.

“You’ll see it with me, won’t you?” Eren asks pleadingly, his gaze hopeful and his smile wide. It was impossible. Levi would die tomorrow and nothing could change that fact. Eren might as well pretend that the man he had quickly fallen in love with over the last couple of months was not, in fact, going to die the following day.

“I’ll go see the damn ocean with you, kid.” Levi agreed, a faint smile on his lips. For as ironic as it may sound, Eren had never seen Levi look more _alive_ with his emotions. It seems that dying took the ability to be uninterested and indifferent straight from you. There was more emotion in Levi’s eyes in that one moment than there had been since...well...since he shot the train driver at the very beginning of their journey.

“You gotta promise!” Eren cried, throwing his hand towards Levi, his pinkie extended to him. Levi examines his finger for a moment and rolls his eyes, giving a soft laugh. His own hand extends and they lock pinkies for a moment.

“Promise.” Levi replies. Eren can’t help but feel shocked at the temperature difference. Levi had never been particularly warm, but he was downright _freezing_ just then. Eren must have seemed blazingly hot to Levi because Levi’s own gaze widened a fraction before he removed his hand. “Come on kid, I don’t have all day. Or in my case; I don’t have all two days, I guess.” Levi tries his hand at a joke, but the reminder only makes Eren sad. The only way to make Eren feel better was to convince himself – by convincing Levi, mind you – that he could, in fact, heal Levi.

“But it could be some kind of anti-virus, right? Hanji said she found nothing special about my blood, but that doesn’t mean anything, right?” Eren speaks quickly in his earnest to convince them both. If he can convince Levi, Eren knows there must at least be a chance. Levi gives a sympathetic smile and a half-hearted nod.

“Perhaps. It’s possible, I suppose.”

“Of course it’s possible. It has to be. _I’ll destroy it. I’ll destroy every last fucking trace of it.”_ His gaze flashes dangerously as he looks towards the sky. “I won’t be fucking trapped like cattle any longer, and neither will anyone else.” Levi turns his head to look up to Eren, a slight frown on his lips and a furrow built between his eyebrows. The shorter man wonders idly when kids became so darn grown up. He supposes that when you’ve been raised as Eren has, it’s not at all that surprising that the man – the man, Levi has to keep reminding himself. Eren was twenty four not 2.4, as he acts occasionally – had some anger issues. His determination is admirable, however, and seems to benefit him in almost any situation. Fuck, he was like a walking beacon of _hope._ And Levi would be damned if he said he didn’t need a bit of fucking hope just then.

“No, kid, I don’t think you will be. You’re a monster; not meant to be caged.” Levi raises one side of his mouth in a tight smirk.

“Assbutt.”

“Very mature. I’m glad it’s going to be you to save the world.”

“Dick.”

“Keep going, the admiration and pride are just _rolling_ off me.” Levi teases, rolling his eyes again, mostly because it’s all he seemed to have energy for at that precise moment. It’s quiet again for a long time. Hours pass without another word being said, and although it perhaps should have been, it was not awkward at all. Silence was peace and peace was what they both needed. Eren supposes Levi needed it most, but he himself was still finding Levi’s condition hard to cope with.

“It wasn’t supposed to be you.” Eren’s voice is soft, almost a whisper as they’re walking. His head hangs and his hands remain fisted tightly at his sides. Although his voice is soft, it is also audibly strained and forced as if the words themselves had given him pain.

“Yeah, well, things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.” Levi answers. In the hours they’d been walking Levi had reduced their speed dramatically and Eren was beginning to wonder about carrying him the rest of the way. Levi’s eyes were darker and the bruises were deepening in their shade of purple; that or his skin was beginning to pale further. His hair was becoming less shiny and straw like. This man didn’t have a shadow on the man that Eren had met those months ago.

“But it wasn’t supposed to be _you._ Why _you?_ Humanity’s Strongest...taken down by a _fucking scratch.”_ Eren forces the words again, forced between clenched teeth of a set jaw. Momentarily he thanks the fact that his hair is covering his face.

“Yeah, well look at Humanity’s Last Hope taken down by a man who was taken down by a _‘fucking scratch’.”_ He had a point, and Eren raises his head finally and unclenches his jaw before unfisting his hands. He takes steadying breaths and can’t help but hate how his breath hitches continuously.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, shortie.” Eren teases, thankful for a moment that Levi was too ill to actually kill him like Levi’s gaze told Eren he wanted to.

“Keep it going, kid. See where that gets you. Don’t be surprised when it’s six feet under the ground.” For a moment it’s silent, until Eren starts to giggle, and the giggle bursts out into full blown laughter. He shakes his head as he laughs.

“I’m sorry. I just thought that you would have to dig that hole, and then you wouldn’t be able to get out and I just keep thinking about you jumping, trying to reach the led-“ Eren is cut off by a rather painful punch to his ribs. He laughs a bit more and shakes his head. Levi only flips him off.

“Fuck you, Jaegar.”

Before long Eren starts to recognise street names and city names and knows they’re less than twenty hours from where he used to live. The thought pleases him greatly, but the knowledge that Levi only has a small amount of time longer than that dreads him deeply. They have to get there and find out whether Eren’s blood can be used as an anti-virus.

“We need to sleep.” Levi mumbles, his voice weakening considerably. Eren nods and looks around, when he notices the nearest large tree that provided appropriate shelter he sets them down there. They lay much the same as they had the day previously.

They both lay on their sides, Eren facing Levi’s back. He can see Levi shivering and feels his heart tighten uncomfortably. Eren reaches out and rests his hand on Levi’s shoulder, he rolls him so that he is both facing Eren and much closer to Eren’s body heat. When Eren envelops Levi in his arms, he has to resist the urge to shiver as well. Levi was deathly cold and deathly pale, he just seemed to be death warmed up. Levi was so exhaustingly tired that he made no move to wriggle away from Eren’s much welcomed heat, and instead he nuzzled his face into Eren’s chest. Levi takes a deep breath to breathe Eren’s scent in and it is then that he realises how much he’ll miss the smell of sweat and peppermint.

Eren cards his fingers thoroughly through Levi’s hair, his fingers slow and methodical as he attempts to ease Levi to sleep. He kisses the top of his head and sighs deeply, drifting off to sleep with his fingers still stroking Levi’s hair and his other arm keeping the dying man in his warmth.

“You’re going to be the fucking death of me, brat.” Levi croaks out, his voice rough and ragged in his half-asleep state.

“Nah, it won’t be me that does it. A fucking scratch brought down Humanities Strongest, remember?” Eren teases quietly, his eyes closed and his voice but a breath to be carried away by the wind.

“I don’t think so. I think it’s going to be a stupidly attractive brat with the oceans for eyes that does it.” And with those words ringing in Eren’s ears he fell asleep, and so did Levi.

Why him, why the fuck did _he_ have to die.


	7. Another Dawn, Another Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi end up getting another lift to Eren's home town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of just a filler chapter because I'm HOPING next chapter will be longer.
> 
> I'm also debating whether to end it next chapter, or to do the two more that I had planned. 
> 
> I guess it'll be up to you guys once I'm done!

“Oi, kids, you know it’s not safe to sleep there?” The voice woke the pair faster than any explosion could have. It was sharp and it was strong and it demanded attention. His features matched his voice entirely; a strong face with sharp edges and a pathetic excuse for a beard that didn’t so much demand attention as drew it.

To call Eren and Levi kids in this state was to call Levi above average height.  Levi had given up on self-grooming long ago and spent all of his time on personal hygiene instead. As a result of this the man had grown quite the Five O’clock Shadow, a smattering of prickly hairs along his chin that he had grown quite accustomed to scratching when in deep thought. Eren, who had next to no self-grooming routines beforehand other than shaving his jaw whenever it was necessary, seemed quite relieved to have an excuse to not have to shave and had even grown stubble along his jaw-line. If anything, the men looked more like homeless crooks than they did children but they both supposed that this man – who later identified himself as Nile – knew that, and didn’t seem to care about their actual ages. Eren couldn’t help but find the irony in Levi getting pissed about that, even dying the man still held a rather murderous vigour about him. Eren couldn’t deny it was admirable, even slightly endearing.

“What the fuck?” Eren says, standing once Levi had removed himself from the tangle of Eren’s limbs.

“What’s it to you?” Levi asks, Scepticism filling his tone as he glared at the man.

“Well, judging by the bright red marked circle, you’re going to the same village as I am. I _had_ planned on being a good Samaritan and giving you a ride back. Especially because Shorty there don’t look so good.” Levi flipped him off as weakly as he could manage and looked back to Eren, who was considering the offer with conviction. Eren finally nodded and looked back to the taller man.

“It would be of great thanks if you could do that for us.” Eren nodded and hoped his gratitude was evident on his face. Levi frowned, but did not decline the offer, his pride and exhaustion refusing to let him answer. Nile nodded curtly, his lips curved into a frown but he led them to his cart. Eren climbed in first and, with much whining from Levi, helped the shorter man up so as not to allow him to exert too much energy. When they re seated, the man named Nile rode on and allowed the two males to be as they were.

They hadn’t woken till mid-day and the sun was high above them shining brilliantly in an undisturbed sky of the most brilliant blue. The summer sun was enough to keep Eren awake, but an infected Levi could not handle the harshness of light for long, and was already tired. He laid down on Eren’s lap, using his legs as a pillow. Eren absentmindedly carded his fingers through Levi’s hair as he watched the passing scenery.

Eren thinks back to their journey together, his eyes glazing over as he forgets to actually look at the scenery his gaze had drifted to. The train ride had felt like centuries ago now, in another world where the creases in Levi’s forehead didn’t convey concern, or the softness in his eyes didn’t convey affection. It was a time when ‘kid’ and ‘brat’ where not terms of endearment. It was a time where Levi was uncomplicated to Eren; a hard ass with a real attitude problem. Now? Now, Levi was a hard ass with a real attitude problem and _actual emotions._ It was an amusing thought, but with his fingers still carding through Levi’s hair it was believable. Just.

Waking up in motel bedrooms with Levi leaching off of Eren’s heat in the most platonic sense, and then nearer the end it had held some form of affection that neither were quite ready to address. Even now, with Levi dying in Eren’s lap there had been nothing more than an endearing sentence shared between them. Their hours and hours of conversation and bickering and squabbling; Levi was the world’s best assassin and yet he had argued with a twenty four year old male about which way the toilet paper should sit. It was laughable, really, how passionate Levi was about cleanliness. Irony didn’t quite know what to do about an obsessive compulsive assassin.

And moments like these. Eren, now refocusing his eyes in order to look down at Levi who appeared so young and fragile in his lap, it was heartbreaking to look at. This man, who had become a source of strength and determination for Eren had withered into a tired man who was almost upon his death bed. Levi slept peacefully, at least. The furrow between his brows lessened and the hard frown that was constant on his face softened to a thin line. Sleep took years off of his already young face and Eren wasn’t so sure Levi was a decade older than him anymore. Moments like this, however, when they were too tired to remember to be subtle about their feelings and when the gentle caress of one’s fingers against another’s was not questioned.

Eren had to remember every detail now, for fear of losing it once Levi passed. After an hour so of mindless thoughts of Levi Eren decided he would sleep as well, if not just to pass the time. Sleep did not take too kindly at first but when it did it was deep and long, interrupted by a punch to his shoulder. Eren yawned and looked up to see Levi offering a hand out of the carriage. He looked...well...alive. Colour had returned to his cheeks and the purple bruises that had taken refuge beneath his eyes had disappeared. Eren stared dumbly for a long time before taking Levi’s outstretched hand and allowing the shorter man to pull him from the carriage.

“Are you-?” Eren starts, but stops when Levi shakes his head in resignation. Eren nods again, his lips pursed, but no words passing them. For a moment hope had flashed through Eren’s mind; perhaps Levi could get better, perhaps whatever made Eren immune, also made Levi immune. As horribly cheesy as it may sound _perhaps it was fate?_ Eren looked away from Levi, unable to look at the man who was still dying.

“We’re here?” Levi asked, his voice strained and rough with sleep and – you know...dying.

“Yep. See you kids around.” And with that, Nile had disappeared, leaving the pair by themselves on the corner of a street. Eren looked around, recognising their surroundings immediately as a neighbourhood he used to play in as a child. He had not yet released Levi’s hand, and Levi had not yet released Eren’s, Eren took this as a silent agreement and began walking in the direction of his home. Every now and then, Eren would pay close attention to the movement of Levi’s thumb on Eren’s hand.

Ten minutes later they stood in front of an old, beaten down house and stared at it for a moment.

“Are we gonna stand out here like pieces of shit, Eren? I’m dying here in case you didn’t know.”

“Don’t be an ass, Levi.” Eren rolled his eyes, but the answering squeeze from Levi was enough for Eren to know that he was nervous too.

Eren took a deep breath and took the first step to entering his childhood home, and then to the basement. For some reason, the key on his chain had never felt so heavy to him before, but now he felt like Atlas, bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders...or in Eren’s case around his neck.


	8. The Basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi finally discover the infamous basement and find some rather surprising results down there.

The house was as he remembered it but it seemed much smaller now. Perhaps it had been Eren’s perspective as a child that made the tiny house seem much larger, though back then the house was his entire world. Perhaps his need to explore had been inculcated into him as a child who had nowhere to go. Even before the Titanic Virus pandemic Eren had felt walls around him, keeping him trapped like cattle in a field, just living day by day until they died and doing nothing else.

Eren, for the moment, ignored Levi’s presence. He looked around his small house. His house with the living room that followed on directly to the kitchen, divided only by black marble counter tops. When he took a step to further investigate his home his foot landed on squeaky floor boards and he was struck again by the roughness of his house. He knew he and his family had not had a lot while he was a child, and through childish eyes Eren supposes his family’s love and presence had been enough to push any queries about money from his mind. Now, however, that Eren looks around the fading house and really notices the creaking floorboards, the chipping and cracking walls and the torn and broken furniture it came to Eren how little he had had as a child

Eren became aware of Levi looking around the shabby excuse for a home with a wrinkled nose. For a dying man, he had an awful lot of energy in him, he had around eight hours left and he was in the ‘Calm Before the Storm’ stage which did not fail to make Eren feel hopeful that maybe Levi was immune too. Maybe he would survive this like Eren would have. Levi took more hesitant steps around the home, wandering through the hallways with curiosity hidden behind his usual disinterested gaze. Eren supposed he was hesitant purely because of how long the house had been inhabited and Levi was worried about dust or disease or whatever. Which was entirely ironic.

Levi took a moment to explore and turned the knob on a door he assumed would be locked and be the basement, instead he found Eren’s old room. He wandered in, his eyes widening a fraction as he took in the tiny bed pressed into the corner still neatly made from the day they left. Eren wandered in afterwards and the room  and an uncanny feeling washed over him roughly. For as familiar as his room was, he was incredibly emotionally detached to it. He knew this was his room, a room where he feared of monsters and dreamed of them, a room he grew up in. It didn’t seem to register in his mind that he had wandered into his childhood bedroom.

The emotion lacking from Eren, however, was prevalent in Levi’s expression. Pain and remorse were so dominant in his gaze that Eren felt guilty for not feeling that way about his old home. He stepped up behind Levi and placed a tentative hand on the space between his shoulder blades, hoping his silent comfort was enough to do so.

“Come on, kid, let’s see the basement.” Levi turned, and for a moment Eren caught the sympathetic and grateful look that flitted across his eyes. Levi made his way out into the hallway and awaited Eren’s presence beside him. Eren closed his bedroom door behind him and for some reason he felt like he had just closed the door on his childhood. He took a deep breath and lead Levi down the hallway to the door  they had travelled all this way for. They stand shoulder to shoulder and share a long look between them before Eren lifts the key from around his neck. _Has the key always felt this heavy?_ He wondered momentarily before inserting it into the lock and turning it.

The door swings open and reveals an old rickety staircase leading to a on old cracked and gravelly cemented ground. Eren, removing the key from the door and wearing it around his neck again, was the first to take the first step into the basement. He reached the bottom and a deep chill sets in his bones, an unmistakable bite that seemed to continue to worry at their skin. Leather – or what Eren hoped was leather – bound books lined the shelves above desks lined with jars filled with what appeared to be pickled parts of the human body. Eren shuddered helplessly before moving deeper into the room, searching the book names for anything that would help them.

“Levi, could you start on the books from the other side?” Eren asks, his voice harder than usual, his gaze just as hard as the determination started to surge its way through his body. Levi, having already started to make his way to that end of the room just gave Eren a salute that made it difficult for Eren to keep his composure and not laugh. Only Levi could be so sarcastic in his dying hours. No doubt in the next four he would start to show signs of tiredness and exhaustion and by the 7th hour he would have lost his mind completely. Eren swallowed a lump in his throat as he scanned books and books for anything to help. The thought of Levi losing his sarcasm and wit was enough to make Eren’s heart squeeze hopelessly.

Two and a half hours passed.

“Anything?” Eren lifted his head, noticing that Levi had gone unreasonably quiet after an hour long debate about whether putting milk in before your cereal was worthy of a divorce or not. Levi said it was, Eren disagreed. When Eren’s gaze landed on Levi, he knew something was up. Eren scrambled to his feet, paper and books falling from his lap and crashing to the ground heavily. In moments he was sitting beside Levi, peering over his shoulder.

“What is it?” Eren tried again, and yet still no answer came. He frowned and reached out slowly in a silent question to take the book from Levi’s hands. He was scanning the pages heavily, his pupils flitting backwards and forwards at break neck speeds. He was murmuring curses beneath his breath and didn’t seem to notice when the book was removed from his hands. Levi merely replaced leather bound pages with his hair, gripping it tightly as he fought to keep back choked sobs.

Eren, terrified now, flips back a page to the start of a journal entry by his father. He began reading.

_Dear whomever it may concern, though I assume it is you Eren,_

_  
I have done many things wrong in my time alive, many of them I cannot speak of and some I will mention further into your reading of this journal entry. Although I made countless mistakes in my time Eren, my dear little boy, you must know that you were not one of those mistakes. You were the greatest thing to ever come from your mother and I. As a boy you were so aggressive, so determined to protect your family and those closest to you. Armin had his smarts and later Mikasa had her technique but, boy, you had your determined anger and what a speaker you were. –_ here the writing becomes illegible due to what one can only assume to be tear stains. – _You have to know, son, that what I did I did for you. This was never my plan and I cannot stop the outbreak but, son, I can protect you. I can protect you and I’ll be damned if I don’t._

_I’ve been working on this ever since you were a child. I had to, you see, otherwise you wouldn’t be protected and you had to be protected, Eren. Ever since you were young I knew, I knew it was happening...or at least going to happen. I couldn’t do anything, Eren, you must believe me. What I did I did for you. The serum was simple, it took some trial and error but I knew the change to look for. I helped create it after all. They told me it was for the better, they did. Eren you must believe me, that is pertinent. They told me they would save humankind, they didn’t say they would save humankind but massacring them._

_It’s my blood, Eren. My blood is the key to the virus, it created it and it can destroy it. I was doing this for the greater good, Eren. The Military Police told me it would save the world, it would be a utopia. They were wrong and I was wrong to trust them but, Eren, I can save you. I can and I will save you._

_You remember what I told you don’t you, Eren? My blood created it and my blood can destroy it. The serum I created was made with my own blood. Once I’m gone, and I will be soon, it will be up to you to save the world, Eren. Only people with your bloodline will be able to survive the virus, them and them alone will be immune but, Eren, do not misunderstand me. You_ cannot _give your blood to anyone else. You cannot act the hero that way, it will kill them faster than the virus will and more violently. You have to understand, I had to make sure the Military Police did not come after your blood, and if they did..well then they would get their just desserts._

_I’m sorry, Eren. You have to trust me. I had to save you._

Eren had kneeled and now rested back onto the heels of his feet, staring off into the distance. His mind was riling with thoughts and words and obscenities. It took shuffling beside him to make him realise that Levi was there. Poor, poor Levi. Eren hadn’t truly believed it, hadn’t truly believed that this man would die. Eren scrambled to his feet and pulled Levi into his arms, wrapping them around his shoulders and resting his forehead on Levi’s shoulder, sobbing into the fabric there while Levi clutched to the back of Eren’s shirt, his knuckles white.

The sound of choking sobs filled the room for a long time and somewhere in that time the taste of tears changed to the taste of each other’s lips. In those moment that their lips were connected it was just a pair of young adults standing in a paper littered basement kissing each other desperately as if their last breaths depended on it and for Levi, they did. They gripped and they pulled at each other, their lips hungry for more of the bittersweet taste that was undeniably the other.  Eren couldn’t help but continue to sob into their kiss, long after his hands had caught Levi’s jaw. Levi’s crying was silent but still continued a silent continual flow down his cheeks as he craved more and more of Eren.

When they broke apart, Eren was breathlessly crying back into Levi’s shoulder. Levi had relented into crying silently into Eren’s chest, his grip remaining rock solid against the taller man’s clothing.

“Let’s go to the sea. We’re close aren’t we?” Levi murmured into Eren’s shirt. Eren nodded.

“We’re about an hour’s walk away. I was never allowed far as a kid, and never without an adult or someone they could trust.” Eren murmured into Levi’s shoulder.

“Then let’s go. I’m not going to die in this bastard’s basement.”

Eren nodded and took hold of Levi’s hand, squeezing as he tried to ignore that Levi had brought up his impending death again.  Eren frowned heavily as he left the basement with Levi in tow, and then left the house. He didn’t bother to lock the basement door; why should he? The damage was done and the dam had burst, there was no closing that hole now.

“As if we hadn’t walked far enough.” Levi scornfully added without any real venom, it made Eren smile softly and give a huffed laugh.

The walk was surprisingly more gruelling than their entire journey here. Perhaps it was finality of their trip and the reasoning behind this final journey. Their journey before had been to save mankind and this journey was Levi’s death wish.

They reached the sandy shores and were glad to see it devoid of humans. Levi was beginning to become tired, his eyes were drooping and his movement were slowing down. They decided on a spot where they could sit on the sand and enjoy the sea without being bombarded with the wind that the sea always brought with it.

They both sat in relative silence for a long while taking in the salty smell and the cold nip of the sea and loving every moment of it. Wind still brushed their hair behind them and the sand felt fresh and warm beneath their toes. Eren sat behind Levi, his legs parted to allow Levi to sit with his legs in front of him. Levi leant back against Eren’s chest, his own rising and falling slower than it had before. Eren gripped Levi around the middle and rested his chin atop Levi’s head. It was peaceful, the sound of the waves lapping against the shore having previously destroyed land and god knows what else to reach the shore now.

An hour passes them without warning and before Eren knows it something cold and hard is behind pressed into his palm. Confusion pools in his eyes before he looks down at his hand and drops the object into Levi’s lap.

“Don’t drop the fucking gun you idiot.”

Eren’s breathing became laboured as he stares down at the cold metal. He closes his eyes and ignored it until he feels Levi’s hand reaching up to cup Eren’s cheek from behind.

“You can’t let me get to the point of the other’s Eren. You can’t.” His voice pleaded with him and silence splayed out between them as vast and dangerous as the ocean in front of them.

“You have to kill me Eren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOO. WE'RE DRAWING SO NEAR THE END. IT MIGHT END UP ONLY BEING NINE CHAPTERS BUT GOSH IT'S BEEN A GOOD RIDE.


	9. Don't Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's dying and there's only one way to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may revisit this because I feel like there's a bit more I can add but I was really excited to get this out!

Eren stares long and hard at the rapidly deteriorating sentience in Levi’s eyes. Levi stares back with a numbing calm that fills his entire body. He was always ready to die, he knew what living in a world doomed to extinction was like and he was not afraid. Levi was not afraid of death. He welcomed it, and looking back into Eren’s eyes now he knew he was okay with it too. He was witnessing the ocean in Eren’s eyes and witnessed the tempest within them while he could hear the waves in the background. They rolled softly onto the shore and drew back in time to be taken over again. Eren, still mulling over Levi’s request with the threat of throwing up very real in the back of his mind, continued to hold Levi closely to his chest. Fear prevalent in his gaze.  Levi removed himself from Eren’s grasp and turned so he was facing the taller man.

Without a word Levi raised the gun from his lap and placed it back into Eren’s grasp. He never once broke eye contact with Eren as he rose the younger’s hand till the barrel of the gun was pressed firmly against his temple. He had to show the fearlessness that he felt within him. Carefully, as carefully as he could Levi placed Eren’s index finger around the trigger and dropped his hand to his lap. His eyes never once wavered with the feel of cold metal pressed to his temple.

Eren’s lip wobbled and tears came uninvited in streams down his cheeks.

“Don’t cry.” Levi begged, pleading with the younger man.

“You’re breaking my heart.” Eren shot back, angry tears falling freely down his cheeks as he glared at a dying Levi.

“Don’t you remember, Eren? I don’t want to break anything beautiful.” His voice cracked and broke at the end and he found it hard to hold his own composure. Levi was not afraid of dying, but he was terrified of hurting this man in front of his. He felt his own heart, something he thought was non-existence, give a painful squeeze.

He raised his other hand and cupped Levi’s cheek in his palm. He rubbed soft patterns into Levi’s cheek and shakes his head, leaning forward to press his forehead against Levi’s as he sobs. They were disgusting, the both of them. They reeked of sweat and dirt and equal amounts covered their bodies, dried into their skin. Their hair was matted with dust and mud and yet not one bit of it was enough to make Levi move from their current position. Eren sobbed heavily, tears welling and falling just as they seemed to stop, he hiccupped loudly and his hand had moved to clutch the back of Levi’s head, fingers grasping tightly to Levi’s hair. He held Levi there and for the second time that day broken sobs became broken and desperate kisses.

There was nothing so bittersweet about the taste of Levi who even now, covered in mud and sweat, tasted so clean and pure. Eren could feel him slipping though, could hear the pained groans leaving his lips softly against his own. Eren could feel Levi’s kisses becoming less desperate and increasingly weak and fragile. Eren could only sob as he pulled back, staring intently into Levi’s still calm eyes. He pressed the barrel of the gun flush against the skin of Levi’s temple again and takes hold of his hand, their fingers intertwining.

“Don’t stop looking.” Levi said, his voice hoarse and thick and gruff with effort. His own eyes welled and he blinked the tears away, though they fell freely down his cheeks. Eren nodded silently and wiped at his face before his grip on the trigger tightened. He squeezed and Levi was gone.

Blood seeped from the wound and alarms rung in Eren’s ears. He watched without seeing as the blood congealed in the sand, pooling in a large black puddle around Levi’s head. Calm eyes stared out still. Eren closed them. He never understood how people could say they could now pretend he was sleeping. With blood pooled around him and an overwhelming emptiness that surrounded him he knew that Levi was gone, he was gone for good and there was nothing he could have done about it. Disgusted in himself he kicked Levi’s body away from himself and sobbed loudly and freely. His chest was on fire and his head ached like someone had put a bullet in his own head. He continued to cry, however, until his lungs were screaming at him to take a deep breath and his stomach muscles were cramping with the effort it took to cry. Eren cried long after there were tears available to cry.

~~~

In the end, Eren wrapped up Levi’s body in a blanket and – just his luck – found a train going straight to Alaska. Eren had to sit in the back with Levi, but Eren hadn’t felt anything since he’d killed Levi and couldn’t quite decide if he minded being stuck in a carriage with a rotting body for days on end. He was sure he’d felt like it was far more colourful on his journey here, but the journey back was dull and grey and lifeless. It reminded him of Levi’s eyes and his chest constricted again.

The train journey was easy, easier than walking and Eren felt some form of relief when they pulled up in Alaska a few days later. He had been able to get a message to the Survey Corps. Nothing too informative; just when he’d be arriving. It was Erwin and Hanji who met him on the other end of the line and seeing their hopeful faces made Eren want to cry tears that he knew would not come. Their eyes fell on the body and they understood immediately what must have happened. He’d protected Eren at all costs.

Eren couldn’t help but think how these people, how no one, would ever know what they had, what they had shared and how they had been. No one would know who they had been together and the fact that he died with people believing he was cold-hearted made Eren feel worse about his death, because in the end Levi had felt more than Eren had.


End file.
